Confidence: It’s Not Loud — It’s Knowing You Belong

We often think of confidence as something big and bold, the person who speaks first in meetings, walks into a room without hesitation, or delivers a flawless presentation without breaking a sweat.

But here’s the truth: confidence isn’t about being the loudest. It’s about feeling anchored in who you are — even when your voice shakes, even when you’re still figuring things out.

I remember working with a senior leader who was brilliant at her job, deeply respected… and quietly struggling. Before every board meeting, she’d rehearse obsessively, overthink her words, and doubt her right to be at the table, even after 20 years of experience.

I’ve heard versions of this story from entrepreneurs, parents navigating complex diagnoses, teachers, GPs, NHS managers, and creatives launching their first big idea. Confidence isn’t a trait you either have or don’t. It’s a mindset we build, piece by piece, breath by breath.

So how does confidence actually show up?

For a parent, it might be trusting your instincts — even when the world is full of opinions.

For a leader, it could be holding space for your team’s uncertainty while navigating your own.

For someone rebuilding after burnout, confidence might mean taking up space again — slowly, gently, intentionally.

Here’s the key: confidence doesn’t mean never feeling fear. It means feeling fear, and choosing to show up anyway.

3 Ways to Build Real Confidence

1. Quiet Your Inner Critic

That voice that says “You’re not ready” or “You’re not good enough” — it’s not fact, it’s fear. Try this: next time that voice pipes up, ask yourself, Would I say this to someone I love? If not, it’s time to change the script.

2. Celebrate Evidence, Not Perfection

Confidence grows when we acknowledge progress. Did you speak up in a meeting? Write the first paragraph of your book? Ask for help? That is courage in action. Track your small wins. They build up, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

3. Find Regulated Ground

Confidence is easier to access when your body feels calm. Use your breath. Ground your feet. Take a moment to connect inward before stepping forward. Nervous system regulation isn’t a luxury — it’s the foundation of sustainable confidence.

Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, starting over, or stepping into something new — confidence begins with permission. Permission to show up as you are, not as who you think you should be.

And if no one has told you today — you are allowed to take up space.