Redefining Resilience It’s Not About Being Strong All the Time
Resilience is one of the most misunderstood words in our personal and professional vocabulary.
For years, we’ve been taught that to be resilient means to be tough. To keep going. To stay strong, no matter what. Whether in parenting, leadership, or the workplace — especially within healthcare, we’ve internalised a version of resilience that glorifies burnout and suppresses vulnerability.
But here’s the truth: that’s not resilience. That’s endurance.
And there’s a cost.
As someone who’s worked for over 15 years with multidisciplinary teams across primary and secondary care, I’ve witnessed this outdated definition play out in real time. Healthcare professionals, leaders, and parents continue to push through, fuelled by a deep sense of duty, but slowly depleted by emotional overload and the belief that asking for help is weakness.
This model of resilience — one that demands we never falter, is not just unrealistic. It’s damaging.
It leads to shame when we can’t keep up.
It disconnects us from ourselves and others.
It turns self-care into an afterthought rather than a priority.
So let’s redefine it.
True resilience isn’t about constant strength. It’s about emotional flexibility, knowing when to lean in and when to step back. It’s about self-awareness, noticing what we need before we reach crisis point. It’s about recovery, understanding that rest is part of resilience, not the opposite of it.
In my coaching work with healthcare professionals and leaders navigating the pressures of today’s NHS landscape, this shift in mindset has been essential. With constant structural changes, increased demand, and limited resources, we need resilience more than ever — but not the kind that leaves us burnt out and blaming ourselves.
We need the kind that restores us. That might mean:
Pausing before reacting in a moment of tension
Checking in with your energy before saying yes to something new
Allowing space for emotion, instead of bottling it up
Asking for support before you hit the wall
These aren’t grand acts of bravery. They’re small, consistent choices, and they build the foundation for lasting, authentic resilience.
As a GP, former Medical Director and an executive coach, I’ve had to unlearn my own ideas of what it means to be “resilient.” I’ve learned that being strong all the time isn’t sustainable — but being honest, aware, and adaptive is.
So let’s stop celebrating survival as success. Let’s start embracing the messy, imperfect, human side of growth
Because resilience isn’t about being heroic. It’s about being human.
And the good news? It’s not something you’re born with — it’s something you can build.
